Ashley’s Neighborhood

We had a ton of fun with my camera tonight... we were setting off fireworks and I suddenly said "Hey wait!!!! Let's take time exposure pictures with sparklers" and no one really was sure what I was talking about until the first picture was taken and everyone was surprised at how cool it is!

81608

People. Please stop getting your political 'education' from YouTube.
Oddly enough, there really are more accurate sources out there.
YouTube is not one of them.

"Moving" videos featuring inane music played by empty-headed celebrities, a black-and-white color scheme, and super convenient editing does not mean you have made a point. At all.
(Neither does the fact that you play with Windows Movie Maker, you scene repeating and slow-mo addicts.)

Get your head out of your you-know-what and think for yourself. Sheep.

I don't need "hope", I need solutions.

(1) Thank goodness it rained!
Originally uploaded by Sarajea

Overall, it's been wonderful.

Just, some of the moments... Eh.

I'm sad and lonely right now. I enjoy almost everyone on this trip, but there are situations where I just don't fit in.... and it's painful, because we get along so well at other times.

Angst, angst, angst.

On the bright side, this is a shiny beautiful picture of me with my umbrella. I like it a lot. I am trying to take a rainbow sort of picture every day this week. Unfortunately, most of my rainbow props (coffee mugs, pins, suspenders...) are at home. It makes things a lot trickier.

I really do like the umbrella, though. And I just took a picture with my new rainbow hat, but i can do it again. It IS Rainbow Week, after all.

I don't think I have any rainbow socks with me, but maybe I can buy some. Hm.

Well, I had put a ton of highlights in my hair back in May. I really didn't ever like them. The blonde was too much on the top, the bottom layers were still a reddish brown and I didn't like the coloring of some of the highlights. Well, I kept it clipped up most of June and I liked it if I wore my hair super curly because only then did the multiple colors of blonde look kind of neat. Anyway, last night I dyed it back a brown color. It is actually a nice color. It was called Warm Maple Brown I think. The whole point of all of this is my son actually thanked me for dying my hair back to what he calls "black." Apparently, my son does not prefer blondes. He likes dark haired ladies. When I highlighted my hair. He told me the color on top was yucky and pulled a strain of my darker hair out and said, "Mommy I like this color." I am naturally suppose to have brown hair so I guess this all works out. I just thought it was adorable when I walked out of the bathroom and my four-year-old got all excited and smiled and jumped up and down, while saying, "Ooohh mommy, thank you! Thank you so much for making your hair black for me." lol. He's funny.

When people see me, of course I'm not emotional and crazy and depressed. I wouldn't dare show my emotions like that, but also because when I'm around other people I generally don't think about things that are all welled up inside. Yet, whenever I'm alone it feels like the dams are all broken and I just can't control the emotions.

What I wouldn't like to do more than now is just to tell everyone to fuck off. Srsly.

I <3 that little one year old boy.
He smiles at me. So cute.

Also, Lyrika made me "Awww" last night because when she saw my pull my phone out of my purse she said, "You gonna call Will?"

After I explained to her that I was not, in fact, calling Will... she said, "Oh, you calling Aye-son (Allison)?" Then I laughed a little and explained my ringer to her... even though she had no clue.

She's adorable and so talkative now. She's getting better. I can now translate 50% of what she says.

Oh, also, I think my hormones have leveled out a little. I do not feel like a crazy bitch nearly as much anymore. I haven't *really* cried in the past month. This is a good thing. I'd like to return to a normal level of emotionality for myself.

Justin's car got hit a few days ago while it was parked. A hit and run. It's going to cost him about $800 to fix it. He was quoted $100 less, so he's gonna try to get some of that knocked off. I was surprised that his insurance didn't help out with unfortunate things like that.

Maybe mine wouldn't either. I don't know.

My eyes are tired. I think I need some artificial energy.
So far no one has called me about seeing the fireworks, so I think my plans to clean my room are still in place.
And if I cannot finish it tonight, I have Friday to work too. 'Cause it's finally the weekend! Woo!

I have thirsty flowers. In the few days I've had them in my room, they've sucked up about a centimeter of water out of my martini glass. Woah.

I really just woke up from a terrible dream ok.
What it was, was I was going to see Girl ok and I was at the airport or something and there was some kind of center where we kept going for food. So for some reason they had some kind of military briefing there and I heard the commander dude whisper to some guy that we are in for a shit storm (because a bunch of our men just died and they said we would need to send "everyone" in). I remember the words "shit storm" bc I looked at Girl and asked what he said and she repeated it.

Ok so then Girl was gone but I turned and I guess one of the high ranking dudes didn't like what he said, so he shot him ok. It was a silenced gun so like the guy just dropped. So I'm terrified and I run out to go to the bathroom. There are really nice fancy ones and I opened a stall door and saw 3 toilets. I chose the smaller one bc it looked like I wouldn't fall in. So Girl had come to the bathroom with me too and did her thing but this was the last I saw of her in my dream.

In the stall I'm doing my thing and then I notice two other entrances into it and one opens and a girl I don't know comes strolling in. I get all embarrased and I'm like wth but she sits on the huge toilet next to me and starts doing her thing and I'm like uh hello over here! So she goes "its no big deal it's natural'. And then she starts getting herself off and asks me if I like sex. Yes totallly strange. So, horrified, I run out of the bathroom and leave. (on second thought I wonder if this part had anything to do with mel making me to go condom nation yesterday against my will, hahaha).

Stuff happened in between here that I forget, but I ended up at the park near my house and some big event was taking place.

I end up running into the guy I saw shoot the other military guy, and I get scared and leave. He starts following me and by now we are driving, and I see him take a gun out and point it at my car. So I lean down so and drive so that he won't get a good shot and I eventually piss him off and he turns and goes in an opposite direction. It occurs to me not to go right home in case he follows and finds out where I live, but I ended up there anyway.

So later I'm in this office place which turns out to be where girl and I kept getting food or something. I was sitting still in my chair because I was terrified and my boss asked what I was doing. I said "that guy wanted to KILL me because I witnessed that murder. He is going to find out where I live and kill me and my family" bc I'd been sitting there thinking of his LP# to give the police but then realized that he already had all the info he wanted about me because he was a military guy and had access to things.

Then the boss yelled at me to get to work but the next thing I knew, I was at home again but my dad wasn't there. I saw a car pull into the drive and recognized it as the man who was after me. It was different from the one he chased me in. This one was a black SUV with some kind of moon roof. Oh also the dude always wore a tan cowboyish hat.

Anyway he comes, but leaves again and I figure he's just scoping the place out ok.

Then later a car pulls up again, and thinking it's my dad, I jump up to tell him what's going on but see the man who wants to kill me-- his car. Totally freaking scared at this point, I grab phoebe from the hall and take her in my room with me and bolt the door shut and then I try dialing 911 but my phone has no signal and just as I was realizing that, my internet also went out. Totally freaking scared.

Then I woke up. And now I'm voxing it bc I'm lying in bed really still and I'm still freaked out and my cat is literally trying to soothe me back down with purrs and its actually helping.she keeps reaching a paw up and touching my hand.

Ugh. This is ridiculously pathetic.

I also remember details that I'm not sure where to place in the sequence.

Before that dream, there were tornadoes and I was at work and unable to find shelter. Jon was just talking to me like normal and I glanced up and saw it coming. Then at one point I was in my room and someone was trying to get in and I realized the hinges on the door had been undone previously to make me bolting it shut useless.

What the hell is wrong with me??? .

His lp was like lnr or lnd and like, 20164 or something and I kept drilling it in my mind in the dream.

I just want happy dreams again.

Also its 5 something and I'm on my bb so excuse the structure please lol

Maybe i should stop shaking my fist at the universe. maybe i'll have better dreams.

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all.night.drive.

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